The Long and Lonely Road, Part 7

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 7

The Shunning

I mentioned in part 6 that the Lord was leading me to leave my church. I also knew that in my endeavor to be above reproach in this situation, I needed to attend one service when Pastor and his wife were there. I wanted them to observe that there was no anger, guile, resentment, etc., coming from me. Even so, I will admit that I absolutely dreaded going to church that final morning.

When I was walking from Sunday school toward the main part of the church, I noticed that hardly anyone in leadership would speak to me. I felt very unwelcomed, but refused to let it detour me from going in and worshiping the Lord.
I noticed that when the pastor’s wife walked in, she refused to look in my direction. That is not her normal behavior. She even went as far as to keep her eyes closed the entire time during worship. I felt like she was purposely shutting me out. But perhaps I was just being overly sensitive.

That morning, Pastor started a series on the Holy Spirit. In the middle of his message, he said, “The Holy Spirit can help us deal with obstacles in our lives.” When he said that, he looked right at me, and held my eye, making it clear that he perceived me as an obstacle. This was not the kind of reception I was expecting, after being told in the meeting that they loved me and were ready to move on from this. It is also not the kind of behavior one expects from their “shepherd.” In all honesty, it was a form of spiritual abuse.

The next morning, I emailed the church, asking for an address for one member who was having a medical procedure done that week. I wanted to reach out to her and send her a card. My email went unanswered. I even emailed another person in leadership and got the same response.

The shunning had begun. I now saw that I wasn’t being overly sensitive with what I sensed in the service on Sunday. They were choosing to shun me, even when they had spoken words of love and forgiveness to me.

I choose to find humor, even in the most difficult of circumstances. I remember laughing to myself, then telling the Lord, “So this is why You told me to leave!”

However, a few days later, my heart was so terribly heavy. I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. It took a while before I understood why. Several months prior to this whole situation, the Lord revealed to me that someone would betray me at church. I also remembered we are warned in scripture that brethren will betray brethren. (Mark 13) I just didn’t expect the “brethren” would be my pastor and his wife.

The next day, I read a devotion that changed my entire perspective. It reminded me that we are in the front lines of a spiritual battle. I was not to falter, hesitate, or sit back and give up. In my sorrow, I must press on. I could grieve over the loss of my church and the relationship I had with my pastor and his wife. However, it was critical for me to endure this suffering in a right spirit so that I could grow through this time. If I got stuck in the dark mood that had been surrounding me the last few days, it would darken my soul. My goal must be to run the race before me, fixing my eyes on Jesus, for He is my portion and my prize. (Hebrews 12:1-2; Lamentations 3:24) By waiting on Him, He would renew my strength. (Isaiah 40:31)

I knew the time had come to email the church and cancel my membership.  When I finally got a response from Pastor, all he said was, “Will do.  Thanks for letting me know.”  This is just one more example of behavior you wouldn’t expect from a “shepherd.”  It was cold, heartless, and they took no responsibility for their actions towards me.  As one of my friends pointed out, “This is not what Jesus would have done.”  It was abundantly clear by their actions that I was not wanted there.  It was time to shake the dust from my feet and move on.  (Matthew 10:14)

When I go through a trial, my prayer is that the Lord will bring good out of it, using it to help others. (2 Corinthians 1:4) If you are going through something similar at your own church, it is my sincere hope that my story gives you some insight, comfort, and hope. Remember – You are not alone!

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 6

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 6

The Release

After the debriefing period that I mentioned in part 5 of this series, I sensed the Lord was going to pull me from this church. However, until He made it abundantly clear, I was staying put. I knew I needed to stay there at least long enough to attend one service when Pastor and his wife would be there. I felt it was important for them to see me there, and see that I hadn’t “copped an attitude.”

Several weeks had passed during this time of waiting on the Lord. I missed a few weekends due to my work schedule. Another weekend, Pastor was on vacation. It had now been over a month since the meeting, and still no clear direction from the Lord. I will admit – I find those times of waiting difficult. I will often feel a tension arising within me, because I tend to get impatient in the waiting.

It was one of those times where the Lord was completely silent. During His silence, our tendency is to begin to doubt and question the Lord. However, I chose to stand on His Word. I focused on what I knew to be true. He will never leave me, in spite of my feelings. He is good and what He does is good. (Psalm 119:168) His Word is eternal, and stands firm. (Psalm 119:89) The sum of His Word is truth. (Psalm 119:160) He would give me perfect peace if I kept my mind fixed on Him. (Isaiah 26:3)

One day, I was listening to Jacob Prasch, who was speaking of false teachers. He was quoting from 1 Corinthians 5.

“I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.” NKJV
 
It made me think about how Pastor wants me to say “I don’t care for ____,” when the reality is that I don’t care how ____ twists the scriptures. In all honesty, that felt a bit like extortion or like I’m being swindled (NASB).  Jacob went on to mention how when pastors, teachers, etc., lie to us and try to get us to believe or do something that is against scripture, we need to stay away from them.

I dug a little deeper on the above verses, using a website that translates words in their original language. It was one of those “lightbulb” moments for me. I finally understood why my spirit was so disturbed when I left the meeting. Where it says, “not to even eat with such a person,” the word “person” means bringing toils, causing pain or trouble, in an ethical sense: evil, wicked, bad. I found this quite insightful, especially since what they were asking me to do was lie.

I sensed I would be leaving the church soon.

The next day, I listened to a message by Tim Dilena.  He was discussing how Barnabus started out so well in his walk with the Lord. He was the one who got the church to accept Paul, and not be afraid of him.  He was an encourager, generous, a visionary, pioneer, and church spokesman. Yet, in Acts 15:36-41, he and Paul had a sharp disagreement.

The next time you see Barnabus mentioned in scripture, it is six years later in Galatians 2:11-14. Of all things, it is when Paul caught him in hypocrisy. Paul’s former mentor and encourager has now become involved in hypocrisy. What a change! What happened to the man who started out so well in his faith? Barnabus didn’t deal with the disagreement in the proper manner. As a result, he veered off-course.
 
Next, Tim gave the example of a ship that goes one-degree off course.  Imagine it doing so for six years.  The result:  Like Barnabas, you may wind up in hypocrisy, or worse.

I see a great analogy of my church in this story.  They may have started out well, but they have allowed compromise and hypocrisy to come into the leadership, as well as the small groups.  In a few years, it will only get worse, unless the leadership repents.
 
Yes, it was definitely time to get out. I knew I still needed to attend one more service, then it was time to leave.

My heart had been so heavy over this issue for several weeks. I spent a lot of time in prayer for myself, but also for my church. I was so grieved in my spirit over how this situation was handled. It caused me great agony when I thought about how the actions of the leadership may affect the rest of the congregation.

The next morning, I had a CD playing that is scripture put to music. The song was about how weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. That was exactly how I was feeling. I felt such a release in my spirit because I finally had clear direction from the Lord.

I thought of Proverbs 3:5-6, where it tells us to trust the Lord with all of our hearts, not leaning on our own understanding. When we acknowledge the Lord in all of our ways, He will direct our paths. This journey had been a long, painful one, but it was finally coming to an end. What a huge relief!

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 5

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 5

Taking the High Ground — The Road Less Traveled

After all of the processing I had been doing since the meeting, I have to admit – I was not looking forward to going to church. In fact, I dreaded it. However, since the Lord had not led me to leave, I wanted to be obedient.

I was actually relieved to get to church and find that Pastor and his wife were on vacation that weekend.

Because I was determined to take the high road, and be above reproach in all of this, I knew I needed to speak with the lady who went to Pastor. Even though she went against the scriptural mandate in Matthew 18:15-16, I was going to do everything possible to be at peace with all men (and women.) Romans 12:18.

As soon as service was over, I approached her and asked if we could talk. I told her that pastor mentioned she and her mom felt “blindsided” by my comments.  I apologized for offending them. I also apologized for not being gentle in bringing up the errors in class.  I told her I was feeling a bit intimidated, with the class being on such strong time-constraints. I felt like I had to rush to make my point before everyone left, and doing so made my comments come across as harsh. What I should have done was gently say, “Ladies, does anyone else have concerns with what she says on page ___?”

As for the email I sent her, I told her I sent that because if I was leading a class and teaching something that wasn’t lining up biblically, I would hope someone would come to me. I also pointed out that scripturally, she should have come to me to work this out. However, she was firm on that issue, stating something to the effect of, “Oh no, I’m not doing that. I’m going to let Pastor deal with it.”

She stated that with Beth Moore, there may be things that we may disagree with, but there is still a lot of good stuff in her teachings. She said we can take the good and spit out the bad.  I told her I don’t see it as just disagreements, but rather, she is biblically incorrect on many things.  In other words, I see it as a glass of water with one drop of poison — it ruins the whole glass, and that is a problem for me. She said we are going to have to agree to disagree on that issue.

She did appreciate me coming to her, even though we still had different views on this bible study. I am glad I went to her and took the high road because I don’t like the tension unresolved issues can bring. It can disrupt the flow of the Holy Spirit for the entire church, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that.

Now back to waiting on the Lord for more direction……

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 4

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 4

Debriefing

When the military completes a mission, they go through a time of debriefing. Since we are in a spiritual war, I did some spiritual debriefing for several days after meeting with the pastor and his wife. It takes me time to process things, especially things that are of a confrontational nature.

When we had our meeting, I mostly listened and refrained from saying much. This was partly because a wise friend of mine told me to listen, listen, listen. She knows I’m quite a talker, and have a bad habit of always thinking of what I want to say next, instead of listening. The other reason is when I am in a confrontational situation, it is difficult for me to come up with a tactful reply. I remembered what my mother taught me many years ago – “You will rarely regret what you don’t say, but you may often regret what you do say.” I wanted my words and actions to be above reproach in dealing with this situation. I wanted my heart to be blameless regarding the statutes of the Lord, and I wanted to restrain my feet from every evil way. (Psalm 119:80, 101)

Over the next several days, I pondered what we discussed in the meeting. I spoke with my trusted friends, going over several different points from the meeting, making sure that I was correct in my thoughts as I was piecing things together.

As we discussed the Beth Moore study, he said he considers what I found to be more of a gray area, and not too important, thus why he didn’t immediately stop the study. They pointed out that there were no big doctrinal issues, like saying that Jesus isn’t the Son of God, or that there are many paths to God. I found their comments disconcerting because everything I sent them was backed up with scripture.

Another thing Pastor mentioned was that he doesn’t have time to read every single book that any small groups are going to be studying. However, Proverbs 27:23 makes it very clear that pastors are to know the condition of their flocks. This would include anything that is being taught in the church. Imagine a shepherd just allowing his flock of sheep to graze where he knew the some of the food was poisonous. It would be foolish and dangerous to allow them to graze in that pasture! Scripture makes it abundantly clear that a little leaven leavens the whole lump. (Galatians 5:9)

I want to use another analogy that paints a good picture. Suppose you are deathly ill and go to the ER, where they have the medicine that can cure you. There’s just one problem – the medicine is laced with just a tiny drop of poison. If you take it, you will likely die. Are you going to take it? No! You are going to seek treatment elsewhere because you don’t want the poison to kill you!

I remembered this scripture, thinking of it in light of those who are studying material written by false teachers.

Proverbs 24:11-12 “Deliver those who are drawn toward death, And hold back those stumbling to the slaughter.  If you say, “Surely we did not know this,” Does not He who weighs the hearts consider it? He who keeps your soul, does He not know it? And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?” NKJV

I also remembered the strong warning in 2 John about welcoming someone who doesn’t hold to the doctrine, and how we participate in their evil deeds when we allow them to come in. That is a very stern warning to all of us.

Pastor changed directions in the middle of the meeting, stating that he was concerned that I was on the path to developing a critical spirit.

First, he basically dismissed everything I had sent him on the Believing God study, even though every bit of it was backed up with scripture.

Secondly, he brought up an email I sent him about a book being used in Sunday school. It was titled Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. I included the following links in that email because they gave good insight into how dangerous this book is.

Emotionally healthy or something else:
http://midwestoutreach.org/2013/08/11/emotionally-healthy-spirituality-or-something-else/ 

Amazon review — go to the last review:

https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-Impossible-Spiritually/product-reviews/0310348498/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_hist_1?ie=UTF8&filterByStar=one_star&reviewerType=all_reviews#reviews-filter-bar

However, when he started on that topic, he brought up other authors, none of which had anything to do with the biblical errors that I was addressing in that book. Several months had passed from when I sent that email to him, so when I got home, I went back through the links I sent him. It confirmed that none of what he brought up had anything to do with this class. Besides feeling very confused, I was also left feeling like I had been attacked.

Thirdly, he brought up an email I sent him about what I considered an unbiblical worship song.  (Reckless Love)  He told me the story behind it.  He agreed that “reckless” wasn’t a word he would have used to describe God’s love.  My thoughts were that if I say God’s love is reckless, I am telling a lie because it is not true, and we are to worship in spirit and in truth. My reason for believing this song is unbiblical is because when I looked up synonyms for the word “reckless,” I found words like brash, careless, foolhardy, negligent, and thoughtless – none of which accurately describes God’s love.

I kept thinking about Pastor’s comment about developing a critical spirit. From all of the above, it was clear that I was approaching all three issues as a Berean, so it was unnerving to hear that he believed I was on my way to developing a critical spirit. After our many discussions about the importance of being biblically literate, it was also hurtful. I reached out to my trusted friends for their insights to see if Pastor had a point. One of my friends sent me this link:

https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/10/16/overcoming-a-critical-spirit/    
She also read it, and confirmed that I was certainly not developing a critical spirit. Rather, I was following the example of the Bereans, searching to see if it was true to the Word.

Another comment that kept nagging at me was a suggestion he made. In the future, if they have any teaching that I believe isn’t scriptural, I was advised to go to him about it. However, if others in the congregation would ask why I wasn’t attending the class, I was to say that I didn’t care for the author. His reason for this was to avoid confusion and division in the church. However, he was asking me to tell a white lie, and a white lie is still….a lie.

Author Philip Schaff was speaking of Martin Luther coming out against the Catholic Church when he said, “To be silent was to betray his theology and his conscience.” (History of the Christian Church, 8 volumes, 7:69) That is exactly why I felt I needed to speak out about Beth Moore, and why I cannot be quiet in the future, and just say, “I don’t care for ____,” when the truth is that I don’t care for the way ____ twists the scriptures.

There was another reason why his suggestion didn’t set well. When you look at scriptures when Jesus confronted the Pharisees, or when Paul confronted people on pushing circumcision or their eating habits, they NEVER came at it with “I don’t personally care for how you are doing this.”  They were BOLD, and they were BOLD even when what was taking place didn’t appear to be what many would call “huge” issues — they weren’t teaching that Jesus was not the Son of God, that there are many paths to heaven, etc.  And they were BOLD on these issues because they knew a little leaven leavens the whole lump.

 

In Matthew 16:6-12, Jesus warned the disciples to beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.  He was referring to their doctrine. A new doctrine has infiltrated many churches — the doctrine of tolerance because we don’t want to offend anyone.  I have yet to find a scripture where Jesus was concerned about offending anyone.  He spoke the truth, and He spoke it boldly.

In Luke 17, Jesus spoke about those who cause little ones to sin, and how it would be better to have a millstone tied around their neck. I thought about this scripture in reference to “little ones” in the faith — new believers who come in, and join a bible study where they are using teaching from false teachers.  This scripture sure puts that it in a whole new light!

In Galatians 5:9, when Paul mentions how a little leaven leavens the whole lump, he was was speaking to the Galatians about the issue of circumcision.  Circumcision is not one of those doctrinal things that is way off-base, like saying Jesus isn’t the Son of God.  Now that would be a big doctrinal issue.  Even so, Paul doesn’t mince words on this topic.  He is bold in speaking out about it.  In verse 4, he tells them they have become estranged from Christ, falling from grace.  

In verse 12, he says he wishes that those who troubled them would cut themselves off.  This is another very bold statement.

In verse 15, he gives a very strong word by telling them that if they bite and devour one another, they will be consumed by one another!  Why does he make such a strong statement regarding something like circumcision?  It is because he sees that as that little leaven leavens the whole lump, it will cause division in the church.  Those who stand on the truth (like he was doing), will be persecuted (see verse 11).  The others will choose to embrace a false doctrine of tolerance, allowing that little leaven to enter, and it would indeed destroy them.

In Matthew 7:15-16, Jesus warns us to beware of false prophets (and teachers).  He went on to say they will come in sheep’s clothing (they will appear to be Christians), but on the inside, they will be like wolves.  We must be on guard so that we can recognize them by their fruits.  He went on to warn us in verses 21-23 that many will call Him Lord, but they never truly knew Him.

In Matthew 12:22-34, the Pharisees accused Jesus of casting out demons by the power of Beelzebub (Satan).  What was the response of Jesus to this?  Jesus had some very strong words for them in verse 34, where he called them a brood of vipers!   These were the religious people of the day!  They were the ones who looked the part and did many acts that appeared righteous.  However, Jesus saw through them, and He called them out on it.  

In Matthew 15:1-9, Jesus addressed the scribes and Pharisees again, calling them hypocrites, saying they draw near to God with their mouths, but their hearts were far from Him.  They also taught the commandments of men as doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:7 speaks of those who are always learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.  This often happens when a church moves away from a true BIBLE study (as in, using their bibles and studying it), to a curriculum written by someone else.  Verses 16-17 describe how all scripture is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness.  Notice that it doesn’t say all scripture is profitable if it’s done in a group setting, using a curriculum written by someone else.

1 Corinthians 4:6 tells us not to exceed the things which are written.  Many of the popular teachers today exceed what is written in the Word of God.

Jude 11 warns us about those who have gone in the way of Cain — they are within the church, being the carnal brother, and they will persecute the spiritual brother.  Like Balaam, they are in it for the money.  They will be like Korah —  going after those who hold to the truth.

After intensely studying these examples in the Word of God, I was quite disturbed. What was I to do now? I remembered what a wise friend once said. “When you don’t know what to do, keep doing what you’ve been doing.” What had I been doing? I had been praying and searching the scriptures. I had been faithfully attending church. I would continue doing the same. It was more important than ever to be praying for wisdom and direction, and asking Him to protect me from allowing a bitter root to grow in my heart.

I spent a lot of time in Psalm 119 because I have made it a habit of praying a section of that Psalm every day. I found words that gave me comfort and encouragement in this difficult journey.

Psalm 119:104 Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. (NKJV)

Psalm 119:115 Depart from me, you evildoers, for I will keep the commandments of my God. (NKJV) I was determined to keep the commandments of the Lord.

Psalm 119:118 You reject those who stray from your statues, for their deceit is falsehood. (NKJV) I wanted to walk only in truth, staying far away from false teachings.

Psalm 119:1-3 We are blessed when we walk in integrity, following the instructions of the Lord, obeying His laws, and searching them with all of our heart. We are blessed when we don’t compromise with evil, choosing instead to walk only in the path of righteousness.

And so the waiting began…..

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 3

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 3

Struck by an Arrow

The day of the meeting with Pastor and his wife had finally arrived. Since I had several days of waiting until meeting, I spent a lot of time in prayer. However, I have to admit – I also spent a lot of time wondering who went to the Pastor about this issue.

We started our meeting off with prayer, then Pastor got right to the point. He told me he was mad when he heard I was “distributing” the information on Beth Moore around the church. What I did was far from “distributing” the material. That makes it sound like I was standing at the door, passing it out to everyone who entered the church. As I stated in the first part of this series, if any of the ladies asked why I was no longer attending the bible study, I handed it to them, and said, “This explains why I’m no longer attending.” I also emailed it to one of the women who was facilitating the study. I emailed her because if I were in her shoes, and was teaching something that wasn’t biblically sound, I would hope someone would come to me and enlighten me.

I apologized for any division my actions may have caused. I also explained to Pastor that exposing false teaching is like a fire in my bones. Like the psalmist in Psalm 119:139, my zeal had consumed me. It is a deep burden of mine that the church wake up and learn to study like the Bereans because scripture makes it very clear that as the end times approach, false teaching will abound, deceiving even the elect.
Pastor said that in the future, if they are allowing a class that I believe is not biblically sound, I can meet with them to discuss, or even email them. He told me to let the responsibility fall on him to determine if the class needs to be stopped. He added that if anyone would ask me why I wasn’t attending, I was to say something like, “I don’t personally care for ____.” This way, it would avoid any confusion or chance of causing division. That sounded good…..or did it?

He even shared a story from a previous church where a couple didn’t agree with something the church was allowing in the pulpit. Yet, they still came to church to do the ministry they were committed to, then they would quietly leave. The only person they ever discussed the issue with was Pastor.

Pastor said he never really cared for Beth Moore, and because of what I shared with them, he would be looking deeper into Beth Moore’s studies. Chances were high that her material would not be used in the future.

They went on to discuss an email I sent to the lady who was facilitating the study. The truth was out – just as I suspected, she was the one who went to Pastor behind my back. This lady is one who knows the scriptures well, and would have known that coming to me was the proper, biblical way of addressing this issue, according to Matthew 18:15-16:  “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” NKJV. I firmly believe that if she had followed the way Jesus told us to handle these things, the whole situation could have been resolved before the pastor ever had to be involved. In all honesty, the way she handled it felt like a betrayal to me.

Once again, I stated that if I were in her shoes, I would hope someone would be gracious enough to point out to me that the material I was using was not scripturally sound. My intent was never to offend her, but obviously, that is what happened.

Next, he mentioned something they were going to do over the summer months, and asked me to pray about it and see if the Lord would be leading me to help in this area.

Finally, Pastor and his wife assured me that they love me, and am glad to have me as a part of the church. He said, “I’m ready to move on from here and forget about this.” We closed in prayer.

The meeting ended on a very positive note, so I should have been at peace since it appeared there was finally a resolve to this ongoing issue.  So why did I feel like an arrow had pierced my soul?

What was I to do now? Proverbs 11:14 tells us that in the multitude of counselors, there is safety, so I went to three godly, trusted friends who talked with me and prayed with me for clear insight as to why I was so disturbed. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. I knew their insight would help me get to the root of the unsettling feeling in my spirit.

I didn’t want to do something rash because Proverbs 28:25-27 says that when we make rash, hasty decisions, we show that we aren’t trusting the Lord. I prayed Psalm 119:133 during this time, asking the Lord to direct my steps by His word, and help me not to let any sin have dominion over me. My goal was to be above reproach in this entire situation, and I knew the enemy of my soul would love nothing better than to destroy me with anger and bitterness.

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 2

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 2
Hanging in the Balance
Today is a continuation on what I spoke about in my last post. If you haven’t already read that one, please start there for clarification.

I want to state up front that my purpose in writing about this deeply personal experience is because as these end times progress, there will be others who go through similar trials. My hope is that you find some encouragement through my story. I also hope my words will help you not to feel so alone during your own struggle.

After seeing that my concerns about Beth Moore were falling on deaf ears, I knew it was time to refrain from attending the bible study any longer. I decided to type an email to my pastor and his wife with detailed information on the scriptural errors I had found in Believing God, and I ended it with saying that I would be refraining from attending any further studies by Beth Moore.

I sent this email on April 6, and got a response from pastor’s wife just three days later. In her response, she said, “I personally feel you are making a wise decision not to attend the study based on your research and personal feelings.” I appreciated the response, but was a bit perplexed with the “personal feelings” part because all of my research on this bible study was based solely from scripture, and not my personal feelings.

Pastor and I had discussed on several occasions how most people in the church are biblically illiterate, and how dangerous it is since there is so much false teaching out there. He knew this was a huge burden of mine, so when several weeks went by with no response from him, I was a bit puzzled. Finally, over a month later I did get a response. However, I was quite befuddled to discover that the only reason I was getting a response was because someone brought to his attention that I was “distributing” information from my research on the Believing God study to people within the church. His stated that my letter had the “potential to create confusion and division among the members of the Body.” He wanted us to schedule a meeting “try to reach a solution that will be beneficial for all of us.”

I was very apprehensive about this meeting because the focus wasn’t going to be on the biblical errors I had found in the study. Rather, it was because he felt my actions had caused division within the church. I was deeply grieved over this because it was never my intent to cause division. Rather, I was striving to help people see that even the most popular teachers today can be scripturally wrong in what they are teaching.

Now I had an even longer wait, as we didn’t meet until May 30. I truly felt like I was hanging in the balance. I had started reaching out to the leadership in March regarding this study, and now it was nearly three months later with no resolve. I felt as if all of my research was for naught.

For several weeks, I had been carrying a huge burden after reading Proverbs 24:11-12, and seeing it in a whole new light. Previously, I would picture abortion as I read this portion of scripture. However, this time I read it, thinking of those who so easily fall prey to the false teachers who are so prevalent.

“Deliver those who are drawn toward death,
And hold back those stumbling to the slaughter.
 If you say, “Surely we did not know this,”
Does not He who weighs the hearts consider it?
He who keeps your soul, does He not know it?
And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?” NKJV

I felt so alone during this time, but I knew Jesus was with me, for He was the One who burdened my soul with this issue. For those of you who read my blog, I’m sure you have sensed in recent months that it has become like a fire in my bones.

I spent a lot of time in prayer as I waited for the day of the meeting. I had so many thoughts and questions going through my head. One of the questions that was tormenting my soul was, “Who went to Pastor?” After all, it says in Matthew 18:15-16,  “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” NKJV.

It was difficult to attend church every Sunday, knowing that someone had issues with what I was pointing out. Instead of doing the scriptural thing, and coming to me about it, they went right to Pastor. I had been betrayed. Who betrayed me? My fervent prayer quickly became, “Lord Jesus, help me not to allow a bitter root to grow because I know it could destroy me!”

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 1

The Long and Lonely Road, Part 1

If you have been following my blog for a while, you have likely noticed a shift from writing devotions to reviewing books of popular false teachers. There is a reason I felt led to go in that direction. For starters, after reading nothing but my bible for nearly four years, immersing myself in it, I spot false teaching much easier. I have been going through books that I read several years ago.  At the time, I thought they were great books. As the Bereans did, I am now rereading them, asking myself, “Is this really what the scriptures teach?” It has been a good exercise for me, helping me rightly divide the Word of Truth.

Another reason I felt led to move in that direction is because our women’s group at church was going to do the Beth Moore study on Believing God. Having already done extensive research on her, I already knew she was a false teacher. She preaches a prosperity gospel, which is “another gospel,” as mentioned in Galatians 1. She is also into many New Age things, which is very dangerous for any Christian. However, in spite of what I already knew about her, I decided to purchase the book and workbook because I wanted to have proof from my own research to show the ladies the many errors I found.

While out to lunch with my pastor’s wife several months ago, we were discussing popular teachers. I mentioned Beth Moore and why she is dangerous, so I was a bit surprised and perplexed that this particular study was being allowed in our women’s group.

I got the entire study finished before the women started studying it. Once again, I approached my pastor’s wife about my concerns. She didn’t take me seriously. When I mentioned that I would be speaking out when the errors came up in class, she asked me how I would handle it if women would disagree with me. She pointed out that some would not receive what I had to say, simply because I have a strong personality. I reiterated that I have a responsibility to speak out when I see error.

Finally, the night the study began, I could sense the excitement of the ladies. Yet, all I felt was dread. It was rather intimidating to know the Lord was leading me to speak out against her teachings, and I was doing it in a room filled with women who adored Beth Moore.

The study was packed into a one hour period, most of which was spent in watching the video, so it was awkward at the end to try to make my point, but I did it. I raised my hand, and stated my concern for that particular lesson. As I expected, no one spoke up and agreed that I had a valid point.

I attended session two of the study because I saw something that bordered on blasphemy. It was Beth Moore’s comment that her 5-statement pledge of faith could become a shield of faith for us. There is nowhere in scripture that tells us that any person can make a shield of faith for us. When I pointed that out, I could feel an “icy” atmosphere in the room. At that point, I knew I had done what I was supposed to do. I warned the ladies of some biblical concerns I had. None of this was my personal feelings – but based on scripture.

Second John gives a stern warning not to welcome those who bring false teaching. If we do, we share in their wicked work. I knew it was time for me to refrain from attending the study. I also wrote a long letter to the pastor and his wife, showing them many of the errors I found in this study.

You can read those posts here:  Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

I also printed a few copies of that letter because I knew some of the ladies would ask why I was no longer attending. I wanted them to see that it was because of scriptural errors I found in that study. My passion is for the church to wake up and see how many dangerous “teachers” there are, and learn to read and study the bible for ourselves.

It was several weeks before I got a response from my pastor regarding the letter. Not only that, but after voicing my concerns in the study, and handing out a few copies of my letter, most of the ladies were avoiding me at church.
I realized then that I was travelling a long and lonely road.

I will continue this topic in the near future because I know there are others out there who are facing the same dilemma, the same lonely road, and the same burden for their own churches. My hope is to encourage you in this endeavor, and to help you see that you are not alone.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7