The Extreme Makeover, Part 3
I want to take this subject a little further to address how we handle the way our daughters are dressing. I see so much immodesty in teenaged girls, even in the church!
In Lev. 19:13, it tells us that we shouldn’t defraud our neighbor. Webster’s dictionary says that defrauding means: “to take property, rights, etc., from them by fraud; cheat.” Fraud is deceit, trickery, intentional deception, to mislead. In looking at the word ‘mislead,’ I was thinking about how false prophets mislead the people little by little, and before they know it, they are completely astray. Are we allowing our daughters to do this to young men by the way they are dressing?
The word ‘deceive’ refers to outwitting someone, fooling them, robbing, not playing fair, victimizing them, betraying them, entrapping them, or to ‘take in.’ I think these words paint a very vivid picture of what can happen when we allow our daughters to dress immodestly. They may be attending church, but if dressed in an inappropriate way, they are deceiving those around them.
When we allow immodest dressing in our daughter’s lives, we allow them to defraud young men of pure and holy thoughts. We are called to bear one another’s burdens, not to bare our flesh to others. I may be stretching it a bit, but I think that the rapid hormonal changes that young men face should count as being a ‘burden.’ Why should we, and why would we, want to allow our daughters to fill the minds of young men with impure, lustful thoughts? We should desire that they be encouraging one another in godliness, faith, love, purity, compassion, gentleness, and much more!
It is God’s will for us avoid sexual immorality. We need to control our bodies in a way which is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen. We shouldn’t do our brother wrong, or be taking advantage of him. (I Th. 4:3-6)
I talked with a youth pastor’s wife, and she gave me some wonderful insights to stress the importance of making sure that our young ladies are dressed in a modest way. She said that she’s seen too many times where her husband has to intentionally avert his eyes when praying for a young lady at the altar. Let’s say that a young lady is dressed in a very low-cut shirt. She decides to go to the altar. When she leans forward as she kneels, she’s giving a free view to all who are on the platform. From the back, if her shirt is short, and she has hip huggers on, she is showing a lot of bare skin to those behind her, not to mention that they may be seeing her panties or thong.
I have heard several cases of where a youth pastor ends up ensnared in charges of sexual misconduct with a minor. While there is no excuse for his behavior, if we are allowing our daughters to dress immodestly, are we helping to contribute to his behavior? Even unknowingly, our daughters could be setting up a snare when they dress in this way.
As we look at the characteristics of a harlot in Prov. 5, we see in verse 3 that her lips drip words like honey, leaving us with an image of setting up a snare through flattery. Her words are described as smoother than oil. This reminds me of how Satan works – he is so crafty at what he does, and many times, he does it so smoothly, being that he’s had lots of practice at it. Verse 6 tells us that she doesn’t give a thought to her way of life; she doesn’t even realize that her paths are crooked. Is this how it is with some of our daughters? Do we allow them to dress immodestly, which starts a spiraling path, leading them to act in an unbecoming way, much like a harlot?
In verses 8 and 9 of this same chapter, it talks about staying away from her because you could wind up giving your best strength to her, along with giving your years to someone who is cruel. While there are young men out there who are looking to defile our daughters, when we allow them to dress inappropriately, we may be opening a door for them that should remain closed. How many of us know women who were promiscuous when they were young, and now they look much older than their years? Have you noticed how deep the lines are on their faces? That is what happens when we give our years to someone who is cruel. Satan is the cruel taskmaster, and he tries to trick us into partaking of his “free love,” which comes back to haunt us for years to come.
Prov. 7:10 talks of a woman who comes out to meet a man. She is dressed like a prostitute, with crafty intent. Verse 11 describes her as being loud and defiant, never staying at home. Doesn’t that sound much like the teenagers of today? Visiting the malls on a Friday night can almost be scary because of how loud and defiant they are acting. A common thing to hear these days is how the family is never together long enough to even have a sit-down meal together. Could this be leading to some of the defiance and immodesty that is so prevalent in our society? Could it be that we aren’t home long enough to instruct them in righteousness?
In verse 13, we find that the promiscuous woman takes hold of the man. She is very forward, kissing him with a brazen face. Then she continues her crafty intent, flattering him with her words in verse 14. In verse 21, we find that she has ensnared him, leading him away with her seductive words. In verse 26, we find that many are the victims of this kind of woman. Let’s look again at her characteristics: She is immodest, forward, defiant, loud, and she will use flattery, trickery, and anything else to trap a man.
We need to be careful if we see any of these characteristics coming out of our daughters. It could be leading them down a very dangerous path. For those of you who have preschoolers, I would highly suggest that you teach them modesty very early. I did this with my daughter, explaining that we don’t wear bikinis at any age because we are not to be showing our skin to others because God wants us to be modest. If we are careful to train them at a young age, it will be ingrained in their thinking when they get older.