“Seducing Your Husband”
I Pet. 3:1-4 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
This means that we are to hold our husband in high esteem, not that we are subordinate, or less than him. It doesn’t mean that we have to always agree with him. Although, when disagreeing, we need to keep a gentleness about the issue, and not be nagging or talking down to him while discussing the situation. It means a willingness to yield to his headship. Yielding to his headship is also yielding to God because God is over your husband.
Seducing our husband in a Christian way is by adorning ourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit, and adorning ourselves with honor and respect toward our husband. I read one time where wives complain that they want their husbands to love them more. Husbands, on the other hand, want their wives to RESPECT them.
When out in public, what do women do when they step into the ladies room? Invariably, they will check their lipstick and their hair. If there’s no restroom close by, most women will carry a little compact case with them. Spiritually, we need to have a compact case, filled with honor, respect, and reverence for our husband, ready to be pulled out and put on at any given moment.
If we spend time making ourselves pretty for our boss, then we need to do the same for our husband. I know that can be hard. After wearing high heels and control-top pantyhose all day, we just want to come home, and “let it all hang out.”
One thing about the outer beauty, it needs to be tempered with modesty. In I Tim. 2:9 it says that women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety (proper and fitting)… In other words, if it is too low, too high, or too tight, then it is not modest, and it is dressing with the intent to seduce. I am sad to say that I have seen too much of this in my own church. I have serious misgivings about wanting to hang out with any woman who dress for church in such a way. To me, they are much more concerned with getting attention for themselves and taking the attention from the Lord. How that must anger our Lord to see these kinds of women literally setting themselves up as an idol, and in His house!
A lot of our beauty is, in fact, store-bought. We buy the make-up, jewelry, clothing, curling iron, pay the beautician, etc. There is nothing wrong with this, but we need to be careful to remember that it’s not the outer that is really you. YOU are what is inside! I Pet. 3:4 talks about the hidden person of the heart – that is speaking about the stuff on the inside of you, not your outer beauty. The inner beauty should always take precedence over the outer beauty. A good test for this: Which gets more attention? Feeding your spirit the Word and praying, or putting on your make-up and clothing? Ouch!
We need to be spending as much time on our inner beauty. If we invest in God’s presence, then he will transform us by His glory. II Cor. 3:18
If we dishonor our husband, then we are wearing ugly attire and ugly adornment. If we talk him down to our friends and in front of our children, we are adorning ourselves with ugliness. If we struggle in this area, we need to ask God to transform us on the inside.
When is the last time that you spoke a kind word to your husband? When is the last time that you encouraged him or complimented him? Men greatly need to be encouraged and respected. I try to remind myself how blessed I am to be able to stay home with my daughter. I realize that my husband works hard so that I can stay home. That makes it much easier for me to come up with the words of appreciation.
What makes something rare and precious is that it is something of great value. Prov. 31:10 says that a wife of noble character is worth far more than rubies. You can find pretty women all day long, but it’s often hard to find a woman who is rare, precious, and excellent in her character. YOUR VALUE IS PRECIOUS TO GOD! Let God polish you with the Holy Spirit. This is something that is very attractive to God, and as you allow Him to do so, GOD will begin to work on your husband. Before you know it, your husband is going to be truly seduced, in a Christian kind of way.
I Pet. 3:4 talks about the UNFADING beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Over time, most of us will probably put on some weight. Our outer appearances will change over time. Our hair may turn gray. We will develop wrinkles. God wants us to develop that UNFADING beauty of the inner person and not concentrate so much on the outer beauty, which is bound to fade in time.
Dear Lord, help us to desire to spend that quality time with You, knowing that it is the inner beauty which is of utmost importance in our lives. Teach us how to honor, respect, and reverence our husbands in new ways. Help us to be diligent in this. Our husbands face so much as they are out there working in the world. Help us to make the home a sanctuary for them by being the gentle and quiet women that You desire us to be. Let our homes and our attitudes be peaceful from the many storms that we face in this world. Amen.
© 2003, Stacy R Miller