Space Invaders

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Space Invaders

We live in a time where many things need our attention.  We can easily neglect the really important things (people and relationships), to take care of the lesser things, which I will refer to as ‘space invaders.’

I know in my own life, one of the important things that space invaders attack is my time with my husband.  Granted, we all have times when we have a child with the stomach flu, and so the child gets top priority.  But, what about those times when everyone is healthy?  What space invaders keep you from getting that quiet time with your husband?  There are so many obvious ones — exhaustion, bathtime, bedtime rituals, television, cleaning the house, doing laundry, repairs, too many outside activities (even good ones, like church), phone calls, working outside the home, paying bills, helping the extended family, and even our own selfishness, can all become space invaders.

Space invaders love it when we are selfish.  Selfishness rares its ugly head when we find ourselves wanting to read a book, rather than giving some attention to our husband.  It can be seen through our desire to watch our favorite television show, neglecting our husband’s need to ‘vent’ after a grueling day at work.  We can show selfishness by choosing to call a friend while he is at home.  Surely we can find another time to chat!

In a time when divorce is so prevalent, we need to be on guard against space invaders.  They can come in very subtly, sometimes through romantic movies.  We can watch these shows, filled with romance and begin to resent the lack of romance in our own marriage.  This can cause emotional distance (space invaders), between us.  What about romantic novels?  Yes, even Christian fiction can bring a sense of dissatisfaction to us when we see the couple in the book in such romantic scenes.  They can cause us to get romantic notions in our heads of what we’d like to see in our marriage.  When it doesn’t happen, we allow more space invaders to enter, causing more distance between us.

When we said our wedding vows, we never promised to love him only when he is romantic with us.  Reality is that the romance parts fades rather quickly because we are consumed with working, taking care of the house, paying bills, then raising children.  We must remember that any romance movies or books are not based on reality.  They are simply a story.  I’m not saying that romance will never be a part of your marriage again, but the times of romance will usually be few and far between.  And, who said that it needs to be left up to our husband to bring the romance back to the marriage?  You have the ability to do things to spark romance from time to time, and I’ll bet that even if your husband doesn’t comment much about it, he does appreciate it.

Another very subtle tactic of space invaders is to get us to focus on another Christian man, observing how seemingly spiritual he is.  The next thing we know, we are criticizing our own husband, even if the criticism goes no further than our thoughts.  Often, thoughts become words, and words become actions.  This is a very dangerous place, Sister!  Satan delights in destroying marriages, and to destroy a Christian marriage is his ultimate pleasure.  Don’t let these kinds of space invaders get a foothold in your marriage!

One thing I have discovered is that the closer I walk with the Lord, and the more I fall in love with Jesus, the more I love my husband.  I am able to see more clearly that serving him, pampering him, romancing him, and cherishing him is the same as doing it for my Master, honoring Him by my actions toward my husband.  And one more thing — NO ONE ELSE is called to do this to my husband!  It is for ME ALONE!  No one else gets this pleasure, this intimacy, this thrill!

Sister, go fall head over heels in love with Jesus.  See what sparks come alive in your own marriage, keeping those space invaders at bay.
© 2004, Stacy R Miller

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