Crawling Into His Shell

Crawling Into His Shell

I often hear women complain that their husbands won’t ever talk to them.  Invariably, they refer to him as having crawled into a shell.

On the other hand, women rarely seem to have trouble talking when something is bothering them.  We whine, complain, nag, and yell.  We are often like the constant dripping in Proverbs 27:15-16.

Why is it so hard for men to open up to us?  Many times, the answer lies with us.  We make it impossible for them by making them feel that they don’t measure up to our expectations.  We have a keen way of making them think they are never good enough.  Opening up to a woman like that when a man feels so vulnerable would be like entering a snake pit, with her poisonous tongue striking again and again.  It’s no wonder men would prefer to crawl into a shell!

If we want our husbands to open up to us, there are a few things we can do.

1. Choose to do him good and not harm. (Proverbs 31:12) Sometimes the best way we can do him good is by lending him a listening ear.  Many times, he is not looking for a solution to his problems.  He simply wants a safe place to vent.

2.  We can clothe ourselves with strength and dignity. (Proverbs 31:25) We need to develop the strength to restrain ourselves when we are tempted to say something critical.  When we clothe ourselves with dignity, we have a proper and godly self-image.  People who don’t have a godly self-image often do not have a lot of self-respect.  They are often people who have been hurt.  Hurt people will hurt other people.  Frequently, the one hurt is our husband.

3.  We can choose to speak words of wisdom and faithful instruction. (Proverbs 31:26) One way to do this when our husband needs to vent, is to say, “Honey, how can I help you?”  We could say, “Would you like for me to pray with you about this?”  It shows respect to him because we are not pushing our opinions on him.

4.  Put a guard on your mouth. (Psalm 141:3) The best way to guard our mouth is by daily submitting it to the Lord, asking Him to help us speak words that are loving, kind, gentle, and full of grace.

If we are diligent to do these four steps, instead of watching him retreat into his shell, we may hear him praising us. (Proverbs 31:28)

© 2006, Stacy R. Miller

Enhanced by Zemanta

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: